Quality of Life Institute

Road races and new friends

2008-11-13T19:21:00.000-08:00

This past Sunday, I ran in the Battleship Half marathon. I ran a personal best of just under 2 hours. The energy emitted by the hundreds of runners in attendance was amazing. What an incredible experience. The weather could not have been better. And the people cheering us on along the way were awesome. There was the guy beating a dust pan with a drumstick (he had a sign explaining that he lost his cowbell). There was also an all-girl middle school rock band called the Flygirls who perfomed on the lawn of a church. And there were hundreds of volunteers along the route directing traffic and handing out water. And I actually had someone cheering me on. It's nice to have a cheering section, even if it is only one person.
There's something about knowing that there is someone out there who cares, that makes whatever task you are trying to accomplish a little easier.

Life lessons I'm still learning

2008-10-19T05:46:00.000-07:00

If you allow yourself, you can learn something new pretty much every day. To do so, you have to get still, be quiet, and listen. Listen to your heart, listen to God. My daily lesson usually occurs while I'm running. "How is that being still?" you may ask. You still your mind by removing the distractions, and this allows new thoughts in.

The more I learn, the more I realize I don't know. I used to think I knew everything. I now realize I know very little, but I'm willing and eager to chip away at that ignorance.
My latest lesson is that you really can't rely on someone else for your happiness. I've actually learned this one before, but it didn't stay with me. People are human, and therefore flawed.

There is only flawless being in the universe. God. I have found much solace and peace when turning to him through prayer. All others will fail you eventually. That's not to say you shouldn't invest yourself emotionally in others. I love and adore my 3 children, but I do not rely on them for my happiness (especially not a 15 year old daughter).

Being happy and content with yourself puts you in control. You do not need outside stimulus to sustain you. You are happy from within. That comes from taking care of yourself, physically, mentally, and emotionally. Eat healthy, exercise, play with your kids, love your significant other with all your heart, and pray.

Getting "it" back

2008-09-06T21:29:00.000-07:00

When we ran our ad on Craigslist looking for participants for our reality show "Losing It", I had no idea what I was getting myself in for. I spent 2 days interviewing dozens of wonderful people, all of whom had one thing in common. They are all looking to get something they lost back. We settled in on a dozen people whose stories you hopefully will get know to know when this show airs next year.
Having dealt closely with these brave folks the last 3 weeks, it's been reinforced to me how resilient the human spirit is. I've learned a lot already from them and I'm so excited about them getting a chance to share their stories.

Go West young man, and smile

2008-08-04T17:03:00.000-07:00

We went out to L.A. three weeks ago for vacation and to promote the reality show we are looking to shoot this fall. We are holding a casting call within a week. More on this as it develops.
July was full of lots of work, lots of running on the beach, plenty of movies with the kids, much learning, laughter and love.
Here's what makes me smile: warm, breezy days; sunshine; Dean Martin music; the Cubs in first place; my children when they sleep; babies, especially when they laugh; playing with my golden and reading bedtime stories to my son.

Digging in the wrong spot

2008-06-25T17:27:00.000-07:00

A couple of weeks ago, I found myself with no kids for the evening, so I went to a popular night spot to see what I was missing. As I sat there drinking my club soda with lime talking to the bartender, a guy comes up to me and asks me what I am drinking, when I tell him, he says "oh, you've got a drinking problem?", apparently in response to the fact that I was not drinking alcohol. This was said to me by a man who had just downed two quick shots and was on his fourth or fifth beer. As I observed he and many, many other people belly up to the bar to order drink after drink, I felt like I was watching a bunch of people digging for a buried treasure in the wrong spot. They just kept going back to the same hole only to come up empty. I wanted to tap them on the shoulder and tell them it's not there, but they'll have to do I like did and figure that out for themselves. I dug in the same spot so long that I finally hit rock bottom. And these last four years since have been incredible. You really can have a blast when sober.

Holy Pilates!

2008-05-29T13:47:00.000-07:00

In an effort to mix up my workouts, I took my first boxing class this week. It's an awesome cardio and shoulder workout. I also took a Pilate's class today. The class consisted of me and 30 women, all of whom seemed to be having a much easier time at it than me. It was by far one of the hardest hours of working out I've ever experienced, much harder than the boxing. I talked to the instructor after class and she said it was normal to only be able to do about half of the reps. It was such a great core workout and I'm certain I'll be feeling it tomorrow.

Agape

2008-05-24T14:56:00.000-07:00

I talk to people about "agape", having unconditional love for others. You know, the kind of love you have for your child. No matter what your child does or says, whether they are an A student or D, an all-star or a bench warmer, we love them just the same. I now understand we need to extend that same love to ourselves. It was brought to my attention the other day by someone much smarter than me that it doesn't matter if I failed at my quest to run 50 miles or that I didn't make a connection with a group I was speaking to. I have a tendency to define who I am and attach my self-worth to my accomplishments. But my perceived failures are only opportunities for growth, not a reflection of who I am. I should be no less of a person in my own eyes.
We are constantly talking to ourselves, she reminded me, and what we say to ourselves needs to be positive and uplifting. We should acknowledge ourselves when he do good and pick ourselves up when we fall short. Much like exercise and eating healthy, this too can become a habit. One that will lead to us not only having unconditional love for others, but for ourselves.

Do you get it?

2008-05-12T13:15:00.000-07:00

I went for my usual run this past Saturday at Wrightsville Beach. There were hundreds of people on the beach doing all kinds of cool stuff. It was low tide, so there was plenty of beach to play on. Lots of people throwing frisbees and footballs. A few people playing lacrosse. Bocci ball, hackey-sack, soccer. And of course, people surfing, skim boarding, kayaking, boogie-boarding and body surfing. There were also plenty of folks running on the beach like I was and even more just walking. In my opinion, these people get it. I thought about our tag-line at QLI, "What is your quality of life?" Here were people who, at least at that moment in time, were enjoying life. For a person to have a wonderful life doesn't mean they have to look like Brad Pitt or Angelina Jolie. These people on the beach that day came in all different shapes and sizes. But they all had one thing in common, they were having fun and being active.
And as I ran further I came across a group of 20 or so people, ages 20 something to probably 60. It looked like a group of brothers, sisters, cousins, aunts, uncles, etc. They had made a 30 foot slippy-slide on the beach out of plastic covered with liquid dish soap and sea water. They were all taking turns running and sliding on it while the matriarch of this clan knelt down at the end of the slide and snapped shots of them in action. Now these are people who REALLY GET IT. To take the time to trench out over 30 feet of beach and lay in plastic and then continually bring over buckets of water from the ocean shows a real commitment to fun. My guess is these people are a real hoot to hang out with. They get it.
That night I took my 10 year old daughter, Gabi, to the USS Battleship North Carolina to watch an old Jimmy Stewart movie, "Shop around the Corner". They show old movies on the deck of the battleship on a huge inflatable movie screen. The smell of popcorn and citronella wafted through the air as Gabi and I sat there under the stars. I wondered how it is that a 10 year old could be enjoying an almost 60 year old movie while occasionally swatting away mosquitoes, but then someone on the screen would say something funny, or at least it was funny to us old folks, and I would hear her laugh. She gets it.

I'm sorry, what'd you say?

2008-05-08T19:44:00.000-07:00

As a life coach, it is my job to listen.........This is something that does not come naturally to me. I think it is a guy thing. We are easily distracted....shiny objects, SportsCenter highlights, a pretty face. But it is my job to block all these out and really listen to people. Not only listen, but actively listen. Ask questions, pull out information that can help someone understand why they eat what they eat, or why they would rather lay on the couch than go to the gym or for a walk. We all have the answers inside us, it is the job of the life coach to bring them out. It is not my job to tell, but to listen. This is a skill that I will continue to work on daily.

I get my MRI results tomorrow. In the meantime, though, I've been running a little more lately, around 2 to 3 miles a day with only a little discomfort. I attribute it to the power of prayer, oh yea, and the inserts.

Xrays and Inserts

2008-04-25T19:43:00.000-07:00

Wednesday, 23rd, a second doctor has now xrayed my knee and found nothing wrong with it. He said it's probably arthritis and there's nothing that can be done about it. I think an MRI would be a good idea. This latest doctor is a specialist, and I thought he would order it, but he did not. He did suggest inserts for my running shoes to lessen the impact. I went to the New Balance store and they scanned my feet and picked out the proper shoes and inserts I should be wearing. They are really comfortable........... and it still hurts to run.

Of pizza and hoola-hoops

2008-04-20T16:21:00.000-07:00

I went to the co-op at Tidal Creek this past week to listen to a friend of mine who has her master's degree in public health give a talk on the infiltration of sugar into our food supply over the last quarter century. It really reinforced what I knew about the danger of refined carbs in our diet.

I made an awesome pizza this weekend using a pre-made whole grain crust. I loaded it with mushrooms, spinach, spring onions, green peppers, canadian bacon, roasted garlic marina sauce, diced tomatoes and low-fat mozzarella. Very tasty and healthy too.

A good friend of mine from my college days called me the other day and we were talking about how running every day can really wreak havoc on the knees and joints. She told me she had recently taken up hoola-hooping again. You apparently can buy a kit and make them to whatever size you like. She said 20-30 minutes of this is a really good core workout. I personally have never been able to "hoola", I think you have to have hips. The point is though, there are all kinds of ways to get your heart rate up. If running isn't for you, find something aerobic you do enjoy. Swimming, biking, kayaking, tennis, racquetball, surfing, kickboxing, and yes, hoola-hooping.

2008-04-04T22:38:00.000-07:00

I've got several out-of-town clients who have asked me exactly what they should be doing in reference to resistance training. So on Tuesday of next week, I'm shooting a workout video showing samples of exercises you can do, mainly with hand-held weights. This is stuff anyone can do in their bedroom in about 20 minutes. Resistance training is essential to weight loss. Muscle burns fat. The more muscle you have, the more calories you will burn each day. The video should be on my site within 2 weeks.
Still talking weekly with Mike Jaffe and Donna Marino about the wellness retreat at the Sunspree Resort on Wrightsville Beach. It's tentatively scheduled for the middle of October.
Met some really nice folks at a BNI meeting this past Wed. morning.
Taking some time out this weekend to play with the kids at Myrtle Beach.

2008-03-15T11:27:00.000-07:00

My childhood friend since 1st grade is Dodd Mays. After spending 4 years in Kenya doing missionary work with his wife and 3 children, he moved back to Wilmington. He is now pastor of Freedom Baptist Church. This past Sunday, he asked me to speak to his congregation about my journey. Really good people there and Dodd is a very gifted minister. I had my sidekick, Gabi, with me as usual, and she said her daddy didn't embarass her.
I'm finally able to run again, though not as far each day. Just a couple of miles at a time. I really learned a lesson about pushing myself too far.

2008-03-08T13:40:00.000-08:00

On Monday, March 3rd, I came up short again at my second attempt at running at least 25 miles. This one was 18.5 miles. The next day I was at Medac getting my knee x-rayed.It's somewhat ironic that I am disappointed in only running 18 miles. 4 years ago I couldn't run to my neighbor's mailbox. It's just that when you've gone through what I've been through the last 4 years, you really believe you can do anything, so this has been a reality check for me. I haven't been able to run the rest of this week. I've been riding a stationary bike. Definitely not as enjoyable as a good run. Hopefully by this Monday I'll be back to my regular 5 mile/day routine.
I had a conference call with Mike Jaffe and Donna Marino on Thursday about putting together a wellness retreat at the Sunspree Resort on Wrightsville Beach this fall. It would consist of nutrition and exercise workshops, yoga, spa treatments, volleyball, music, healthy food and fellowship. It will be a chance for professional men and women to get refreshed and renewed. I definitely welcome any and all feedback.

2008-02-25T15:52:00.000-08:00

I Spent the 18th through the 23rd in Stamford, Ct. helping facilitate a life coach certification class sponsored by Life Purpose Institute. It was conducted by Mike Jaffe (jaffelifedesign.com) with the assistance of myself and Donna Marino, a personal and professional coach, and founder of Armonia. It was a wonderful week of teaching (and learning). Mike and Donna are both incredible life coaches, best in the business, and I was hoping some of their smarts would rub off on me. I stayed at Mike's house and he and his family treated me with much grace. Really good people.
While in Stamford, I was able to maintain a pretty good work out regimine. I ran every day but one, and was able to lift weights a couple times at the Marriott. Ate good food also, especially at PF Changs (shout out to our terrific server, Cherif, a man who would make a wonderful life coach).

Despite all the snow on Friday, I was still able to catch my Sat. a.m. flight back to Wilmington, NC without any delays. Really good to be home. Got a good 5 mile run in on Saturday night after spending all day playing with the kids. Laid off from running on Sunday in preparation for today's long run. I planned on running 25 miles today as a tune up for a planned 50 mile run (20 times around the "Loop" at Wrightsville Beach) on May 2nd. At the 17.5 mile mark today, though, my legs just gave out. Not enough water during the run, not enough breakfast beforehand, I'm not sure what it was. I'll try again in a week or so. I've got to determine if 50 miles is even feasible before announcing this as a fundraiser for the American Diabetes Association. I'm looking to have up to 20 people donate $250.00 each to run 1 lap (2.5 miles) with me. I'm also looking for companies to match these donations so we can raise lots of money for A.D.A.
That's it for now, legs are shot, gonna stretch out in the hammock for a while.

New Website !!

2008-02-17T16:35:00.000-08:00

Just launched new website. Check out the Videos and Eddie's Testimonial.